Orphan Thanksgiving 2016
by Robin Lane
‘Twas the night before Thanksgiving, when all through the hood
Not a neighbor was standing – well, except those that could
The turkeys were stuffed, Robin’s potatoes were mashed, Butter was added… Butter was added, butter was added, and….butter was added.
I was ready to settle, all snug in my bed, but memories of election ‘16 tortured my head.
When out on Beverly there arose such a clatter,
“Damn it!” I said, “Bryan go see could what’s the matter.”
On the way down the hall I stumbled and cursed. Bryan was behind. Maisy was first.
We opened the door and turned on the light, “Sweet Baby Jesus! O What a sight!”
The Neil’s were riding their 3-wheeler about. “Life is a party!” I heard Barrington shout.
Robin sat shotgun, ciggy in hand. Rudy, in the basket, gnawing on ham.
Michael and Allen were in full blown drag. “I’m very pretty you know,” sang Allen
“How I do brag!”
The newlywed gals, love eyes all aglow, shouted from Wilshire,
“Hey Robin & Bryan, What’s happening? Do you know?”
Angela Turner arrived riding horseback on Frank. “This is insane! It must be a prank!”
And then, “Fuck Trump, rights for women, equal pay” we all heard her say (again.).
“Margaret Reed! Margaret Reed! Do you have the recipe?”
“For craps sake, Marsanne, please go away.”
Lauren & Zach turned the corner on cue. She held a Costco coconut cake. He had dog poo on his shoe.
There are John Guillory and Caroline, wobbly but fine,
They had consumed bottles of Trader Joe’s wine.
Let me paint your face,” he slurred
Caroline replied, “I can’t. My vision is blurred.”
“Hey, my friends, gather and go!
It’s Orphan’s Thanksgiving, you all should know
To gather on Hearthstone for brownies and hooch,”
Barrington’s words enticed Robin to give him a smooch.
Bryan and I dressed, grabbed a platter of apps,
“I can’t find my shoes!”
“Just wear your slaps!”
We made our way to the Neil’s to begin
Another holiday with our family of friends.
We began in the back with polite talk of weather and plants,
Wine turned discussions to politics,
Barrington interrupted, “Oh, Hell no, it’s time to dance!”
Vodoo Jim and Stone soon arrived,
Jim made a caramel cake, the sight of his friends made Michael cry
A knock on the front brought sad Betsy in, “Trump? It’s so sad.
I can’t even begin….”
Saiward and Jarred came by, for just a short while,
“We have Margaret now,” they said with permanent smiles.
Bill popped in for vegetables and beer,
Mark arrived on his bike–in 9th gear
“Hey,” shouted Robin,
“Andrea and Rodrigo are here!”
Andrea danced in wearing her cheerleader garb
“You look great” the crowd all shouted
“T-h-a-n-k Y-o-u, I’m not doing carbs!”
A few guests looked around…where is Caprice? Where did she go?
(They should all know, the Irish Exit is her MO)
The bottles were open, the candles were lit. I
I overheard, “Pass this.” “Pass that.” “This is delicious.” “Who gives a shit?”
“A toast is in order,” I heard myself say
“A toast to dear friends and this special day.
A toast to the Neil’s who open their home to entertain us orphans with fellowship and ease”
“Here, here” said Barrington as Robin retorted “Bitch, please.”